


Dumb Blonde

by NeverOutOfTime



Category: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:54:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29341662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeverOutOfTime/pseuds/NeverOutOfTime
Summary: Lili Frond has often been perceived as a bit of an airhead, a dumb blonde if you will. Though there is far more to know about the lady behind those blonde locks, most importantly a fierce determination that she wants everyone to see so they can view her for who she really is.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Dumb Blonde

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chars/gifts).



> This was a piece that I wrote for a secret santa event that we did on the Fowlnet discord server. Took me ages to finish, but here it is. Better late than never I suppose! I hope you enjoy it Chars!
> 
> Inspiration also came from a song, as a lot of my works do. :P
> 
> “I ain't no dumb blonde  
> I ain't no stupid Barbie doll   
> I got my game on  
> Watch me, watch me, watch me prove you wrong”   
> -Dumb Blonde - Avril Lavigne, Nicki Minaj

_ Pfft... Pfft... Pfft... Pfft… _

The shots came in quick succession as Holly entered the range, piquing her curiosity. Typically at this hour there was no one else around, which is one reason Holly liked to pop every now and then to get some practice. Sure it was nice to show off, but sometimes it was nice just to have alone time without the ego of every other officer filling up the space over who could hit the most targets. 

Today was different somehow, she thought, raising her eyebrows as she heard a few more shots connect with a target. Someone was there on a mission that morning, that much was certain. Who, though, was the question. Holly ran through a list of those she knew got up early. Trouble of course, but he never set foot in the range these days. He typically was trying to fight the crowds to get a cup of sim-coffee before he went to his office. Chix worked the night shift so he was up, though Holly knew that he would be itching to get home to sleep, so target practice was definitely the last thing on his mind.

She rounded the corner after finding a place to set her nettle smoothie. “Hey, it's mighty early for such intense training don’t you think?” She teased light-heartedly, stopping in her tracks as she observed the elf that was persistently assaulting a target several yards away.

The officer in question had her blonde locks tied back into a bun and held in place with a pastel pink headband, though several strands had fallen into her face. Her pink manicure clashed against the olive green metal of the paintball gun, though Holly doubted she cared, given by the stone cold expression on the elf’s face as she let loose another round on her unfortunate prey. She’d not noticed she had company yet, thanks to the headphones that were blasting dwarf rock, of all things. Holly was stunned. She’d never seen her so disheveled and… Holly couldn’t quite find the word for it. Furious maybe? It was a bit more than that perhaps. It was far from the bubbly attitude Holly was used to.

The gun clicked harshly, out of ammo. The elf swore and started to lean down to grab a refill, but paused upon noticing she was no longer alone. The headphones came off and the muffled music was hushed. An awkward moment of silence followed, the tension ringing in Holly’s ears.

“Major Short. I wasn’t aware anyone would be around this morning.. If I’m in the way, I can leave.” Lili stated bluntly. She was more than aware that Holly wasn’t exactly fond of her. Just someone else who thought she was just a stupid airhead. 

“No need for that Corporal Frond… Lili, ” Holly responded. “I try to come in for practice in the morning at least once a week. You’re not in the way of course. There’s plenty of room here for the two of us. Also, we’re off duty. No need for the rank.” She gritted her teeth together, aware that the grinding wasn’t good for her jaw, but not caring. She didn’t have the greatest history with Frond and something told her that now was definitely not a good time for the other elf, judging by the look of the paint splattered target.

Lili huffed and reloaded her weapon, only pausing a moment to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand. “Whatever you say, Major.” Her voice was sharp like glass. Holly was surprised to see this side of Lili honestly. Clearly, something had to be going on. She watched Lili for a moment, trying to read her. Elves were emotional creatures and despite her feelings for Frond, Holly couldn’t help but be concerned about her. 

Lili didn’t bother turning her music back on, she just checked to make sure that the gun was loaded correctly, before splattering more red paint onto the already unrecognizable board. Her form was nearly flawless, Holly noted, watching how Lili held her arms out; finger positioned over the trigger. The only thing she would change personally, was how tight her grip was. In certain moments it would be fine, but over a prolonged amount of time it would start to get uncomfortable.

“I’d relax your grip some. Your wrists will thank you later.” Holly commented, taking a hesitant step over to Lili. “Your shoulders too, now that I think about it. Just take a deep breath and let them fall back naturally.” 

“What? I’m fine, Short, “ Lili snapped, and for a second Holly thought she was going to be the new target. “I don’t need your help or anyone else’s for that matter. I know what I’m doing.” She rolled her eyes. “Nevermind. I’m just a dumb blonde right? Naive. Fragile.”

Holly raised her hands a bit. “Alright, alright. Sorry. I just thought I’d offer some advice, but I can see you don’t want it.” She paused for a moment. “Your form is pretty good otherwise. Better than a lot of others if I’m honest. Good form is important for officers. Especially ones who wish to specialize eventually.”

Lili snorted. “I know that, Holly. That’s why I’m here practicing.” She narrowed her eyes then. “Trouble put you up to this didn’t he?” Her voice took on an icy edge and Holly raised an eyebrow. 

“Ah, so that’s what’s going on.”

“What? Nothing is going on. I’ve got things to do, Short. My shift is in a few hours.” 

Holly persisted. “As is mine. Something is going on and I think we should talk about it.” She sat down on a bench, crossing her arms to let Lili know that she wasn't going anywhere.

Lili wrinkled her nose a bit, as if the thought of discussing her problems was revolting. "Short. Don't start acting like you actually care about how I feel."

"Something happened between you and Trouble didn't it? Last night perhaps?" Holly questioned, ignoring Lili's jibe at her. 

"I told you. Nothing happened." Lili huffed, but her voice was softer now. She lowered her gaze, pretending to examine her nail polish. Maybe that would put the idea in Holly's mind that she really, really did not wish to talk. 

"Your manicure is flawless, Lillian. I'm serious. What did he do? Listen, I… I may not have been all that friendly with you over the years, but.. my best friend or not, if Trouble hurt you, I swear to Frond…"

Lili jerked her head up, her lips slightly open as she looked at Holly in stunned silence. She shook her head after a second or two, getting over her surprise. "I… no… not exactly. Depends on what you mean by hurt. Physically? No, Trubs would never. Emotionally… a bit. It's just a little spat though. We'll work through them just as we always do." She flopped down onto the bench beside Holly, a stray strand of blonde hair falling into her face. She didn't bother brushing it away.

Holly watched her closely, just listening. "Well why don't you humor me and tell me about this spat? If it's got you up before half of the rest of your shift, assaulting a metal target, then it's worth going into detail about.”

Lili was still uncertain. She didn’t normally talk about her feelings with anyone, much less a superior officer who she’d had disagreements with ever since they’d been in the academy. “Fine, fine.” She mumbled, Holly’s insistent gaze starting to crawl it's way under her skin. “Just stop looking at me like that.” She sighed heavily, turning the gun over in her hands a few times. 

“If you must know, I’m planning on applying to LEPmarine. I tried to discuss it with Trouble last night, but it didn’t quite go all that well.”   


Holly pursed her lips together for a moment. “I see. Does he not want you to apply? Training is 6 months in Atlantis, right?”   
  
Lili nodded. “That’s right. Six months in Atlantis for training and that’s only if you get through the initiation. It’s not that he doesn’t want me to apply… but he was quite blunt in implying that he doesn’t think I’m ready for it. That I can’t handle it. Like I’m just some stupid blonde who can’t fend for myself.”   
  
“So that’s why you’re here then.” It made sense of course. Lili wanted to show Trouble that she was more than capable as an officer. Like most elves, she was stubborn and wasn’t going to take kindly to someone telling her that she couldn’t do something that her heart was already set on doing.

“Duh. I also suspect that it's more than that. I don’t think he wants me away in Atlantis for so long, but he’d never admit it. I guess six months is a long time, but… I want this. I’ve got to go. I’m sure you understand that, Holly.”   


Holly snorted. “Well it’s not up to him. Listen, if you really want to go for Marine, I would go for it. Don’t let anyone, especially not your boyfriend, try to talk you out of it. You’re a great officer, Frond… Lili. Trouble may be stubborn, but so are you. Make it clear that this is what you want to do and he’s not going to change your mind.”   
  
She sighed and stood, going to grab her nettle smoothie. “And I know we’ve not had the best history but… if it counts for anything. I don’t think you’re a dumb blonde. Well, not anymore. I suppose I just saw you as competition and I wasn’t about to let someone else get in my way of being in Recon. Just like you should be about LEPmarine.” 

Lili was stunned. An apology? From Holly Short? That was something she would never have expected to happen within that century at least. “I-Thank you, Holly. I understand. It’s not easy being a woman in the force, but I suppose we ought to stick together and show all of the guys that we mean business, eh?”

Holly chuckled a bit, taking a sip of her drink. “Exactly what I’ve been trying to do all of these years. Hey, if you want, I can try talking to Trouble later today?” She offered, glancing back at Lili as she stepped over to the weapons lockers to check out one of the paintball guns. 

Lili was already back in front of the targets now, relaxing her grip just slightly as had been suggested to her. “I don’t think that’s going to be necessary, Major. I’m going to put in my application later, I think.. Then try talking to him again, but as you said, I’m not going to let him stop me from going after what I want.”  
  
And with that, she turned back to her paint covered target and let loose another shot, red paint splattering over the center.


End file.
